Purpose Bigger than Romance
Every week I field calls from clients who originally came to me for various motivation, however at some point they are calling about their relationships. Here is some food for thought.
Julie Nise is currently writing a new book on the subject. I am excited to read it when she is done.
Here is a part of my contribution.
“The issue with helping people in relationships is that it is the area in life with by far the most defensiveness and odd processing.
Some people think of relationships not like they know another person, but more like getting a pet from the pet store. They have a role in their head that they expect and that other person is supposed to play it or pay the consequences. If I give my dog the Scooby Snack then I should get back what I expect.
This, of course, is a delusion.
Imagine Mother Teresa taking care of the poor and diseased in a mission.
Now imagine at home someone keeps calling her saying, “When the hell are you going to stop dealing with those street people and focus on me dammit”.
Imagine Nicola Tesla in the middle of inventing getting a call, “You jerk, when are you going to deal with the landscaper and the roofer”.
How about the Mayo brothers. Imagine they were in a scene from the modern world. “Stop working on that stuff with your brother and…”…
How often do we all fail to get that we are but a visitor in another person’s life even in committed relationships. If that relationship is destroying life missions in any direction there is not a problem with respect for each other. Their is a problem with respect for mission and responsibility in life in general.
Imagine Marie Curie getting a call, Well wait, her story could end better.
All attraction and love relationships start in a delusion, come out of the delusion and then either survive or change into something else. These phases are not mistakes, they are the states of mind that assist in letting the world drop away for things like raising kids and many other activities. But the phases will change.
Ultimately people have noble life missions that are broader and bigger than romance.